#like in the text im annotating there's just random capitalized words

[bullsandthebones]

stoppp giving me internet access when I haven't slept, I'm gonna start a warrrr

[performanceportfolio1603326-blog]

From rehearsal 29/11/17 Part One:

Prior to this rehearsal, the rest of the group came up with two personas that each. During part of this rehearsal we all sourced a lot of text for said personas.

There should be text now for:

Zoo Keeper + Soldier - Beth

Mario + Houdini - Liv

Chicken + Cowgirl - Dannielle

Police + Health Freak - Elliott

Painter + Rabbit - Tom

Prisoner + Politician - Myself

During the rehearsal, Beth mentioned that I could look for texts for Elliott’s police man and Elliott could look for my prisoner texts.

The texts to do with the police that I have found are:

‘Call for loud house party. Showed up and contacted the resident. Advised that I was well aware that there were under age kids drinking. Told them to get sober drivers and kick the kids out. We get another call to the area. I give them one more chance. Third time is because of a fight on the front lawn.

I've had it...

Officers are interviewing involved parties out front. I'm walking around the back looking for stragglers. Back door comes flying wide open and about a half dozen kids come running out of the house.

"stop, police and all that jazz"

Kids obviously keep running so I announce that i'm in a foot chase and start after them. I'm catching up to the person in the back of the group when, out of the blue, he stops and sits on a stone bench in the neighbors garden. Looks to me and says "oh good evening, I think they went that way."

Completely bewildered, I ask "are you high?!?"

Why yes, yes he was.’

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1g2wjx/police_officers_of_reddit_what_is_the_funniest/

‘I had to arrest a ghost once. This poor lady with mental health problems called us saying the ghost had broken in to her flat and wouldn't leave. So we fake arrested it and carted it out of the flat so she could relax in peace. She was very happy with us.’

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1g2wjx/police_officers_of_reddit_what_is_the_funniest/

‘I was on field training when we (my FTO and I) got a call for a welfare check on an elderly lady. Her son and daughter in law were at the house and hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks. Mail hadn't been removed from the mailbox, lawn was growing over, all signs pointed to house being either empty or the lady being deceased. We exhaust all options, try to look through any windows we can (all were covered with shutters) and finally get cleared to force entry.

As I'm new guy, Im first one through the door, which we had a hell of a time getting through because random stuff was piled against it. I'm entering through a sort of laundry/entry room and moving into the kitchen. There's no main lights on in the house, just one lamp, very dark and creepy (it's about 2:00pm as well). A/C isn't running and it's October, which while not hot, still is warm. No smell of decay so far, but no sounds coming from anywhere.

We move into the living room and I turn to go down a dark hallway when I hear a loud noise. Damn if there's not windchimes hanging at the end of the hallway, dangling in the darkness where I couldn't see them. Scared me, but not as much as what was about to happen. (we had our weapons at the low ready, as we weren't sure what situation we were walking into / we were also calling the woman's name out during this but got no response)

As I reach the end of the hallway, it branched to the left and right. I checked left real quick, saw a closed door and turned to my right where there was a open door to a bedroom where I could see a bed. All of a sudden a fucking body sits straight up in the bed and looks in my direction. What made it better was this person appeared to be wearing a wig, large sunglasses, and didn't say a damn word. I started shouting at her to put her hands up but my FTO pushed me aside and moved into the room. She was ok, got taken by ambulance to the hospital to get checked out as a precaution. FTO laughed his ass off. Good times.’

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zvv1s/police_officers_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest/

- Never fuck with a cop's family, asshole.

- Doesn't that piss you off? 

- That pisses the fuck out of me.

- Don't get me started. Get out of the car.

- Fuck it! Some shit is making you crazy.

- You know there's nothing going on between me and Theresa!

- Man, I've been your partner for six years...

- and I've been your boy all my life.

- For you to even think...

- To let some dumb shit like that creep up in your mind...

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/b/bad-boys-script-transcript-bay.html

‘I've been lumped into this category since joining the police force last year but don't agree that's a fair assessment. What I've learned from the inside is cops are pretty ordinary. They do, however, seem to exhibit a peculiar stereotype of materialism. By this, I mean the obsessive desire to own motorcycles, guns, ATV's, trucks and truck accessories.

The problem is: the average cop doesn't make much money. This leads to an endless cycle of buying expensive toys and then selling them in order to buy other expensive toys.’

http://officergary.blogspot.co.uk/2006/06/stereotypes_22.html

The texts I have found for politicians are:

‘it had at its heart a simple promise that spoke to me, my values and my aspirations: that each new generation in our country should be able to build a better future. That each generation should live the British Dream. And that dream is what I believe in.

But what the General Election earlier this year showed is that, forty years later, for too many people in our country that dream feels distant, our party’s ability to deliver it is in question, and the British Dream that has inspired generations of Britons feels increasingly out of reach.’ - Theresa May Transcript 

https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2017/10/theresa-mays-conservative-conference-speech-full-text/

‘ready to give opportunity to young people, dignity and security to older people,  ready to invest in our economy and meet the challenges of climate change and automation, ready to put peace and justice at the heart of foreign policy.  And ready to build a new and progressive relationship  with Europe.

We are ready and the Tories are clearly not. They’re certainly not strong and they’re definitely not stable. They’re not remotely united. And they’re hanging on by their fingertips.

But this Tory Government does have one thing that we lack.  They have tracked down the Magic Money Tree when it was needed to keep Theresa May in Downing Street.  It was given a good old shake – and lo and behold – now we know the price of power – it’s about £100m for each Democratic Unionist MP.’ - Jeremy Corbyn Transcript

https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2017/09/jeremy-corbyns-labour-conference-speech-full-text/

‘For too long, a small group in our nation's capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have borne the cost. Washington flourished, but the people did not share in its wealth. Politicians prospered, but the jobs left and the factories closed. The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs. And while they celebrated in our nation's capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.’ - Donald Trump Transcript

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/01/20/donald-trumps-full-inauguration-speech-transcript-annotated/?utm_term=.0b6f9f7d0f23

‘The U.S. cannot allow EBOLA infected people back. People that go to far away places to help out are great-but must suffer the consequences!’ - Donald Trump Tweet

‘Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it...’ - Donald Trump Tweet

‘Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!’ - Donald Trump Tweet